Sunday, 11 March 2012

Clothing, the Cosmos and Other Conspiracies

The older I get, the more I make peace with the fact that I'll never be one of these 'today I'm wearing' gals: that rare breed of glossy fashion fodder - perfectly coiffed, perfectly turned out, with a carefully-curated look we are led to believe happened 'organically'. My 'look' is generally one of fear before 9am and grave concern at approximately 9:10am when I grasp the semantic nuance between 'throwing something on' and looking 'thrown together'. At this point, I normally reach for something black and a big mug of black coffee.

On the occasions that I get it right (which generally involve good lighting and a few hours of preening), the universe can be found to conspire against me. I'm beginning to take this cosmic spite personally, if not for the fact that its frequency is scaring me into thinking I'm being singled out by sartorial fate. Let me explain.

Last night I had a dinner party to attend and as chance would have it, the cab arrived early prompting me to fast-forward my half-finished attempt at getting dressed. Having been a bit heavy-handed with the deodorant, I slipped on my MiH light blue oversized shirt only to find the spray had seeped into the material, leaving me to look like Christy Moore after the Siege of Venice. Futile attempts were made to dry the offending stain with a hairdryer before I was forced to leave.

On the way out, I grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge and arrived at the soiree with my arms stuck to my sides for the duration of the evening. To add insult to proverbial injury, I discovered whilst cleaning out the fridge today that in my haste, I grabbed the wrong bottle - offering my host instead a half-empty Pinot Grigio that had been left festering on the door rack. Needless to say a rather hearty apology was made on my behalf this evening. 

So yes, I seem to have more luck dressing others than myself. That being said, I savour the days when it all seems to fall into place. But as luck would have it, those are generally the occasions when I have nowhere to go.


Fashion Stylist_ka said...

I saw you few times around the shops and you always look like the perfectly dressed stylist!
That story sounds much more like my own ;)

Karolina said...

hi i love your story - the same happens to me - last night i got dressed up and had nowhere to go :(

check out my blog and vote for my dress. seguana, manor house @

queenofcuffs said...

Ah yes - but honestly now - your 'thrown together' is a totally different breed of thrown together!
Being so dipped in fashion the automatic instinct to pick correctly must kick in - love the story - especially the Christy Moore bit !!!!
(I once did a lot worse - grabbed a tall bottle of virgin olive oil - went down well though)

Annmarie said...

Thanks guys :)

I love the virgin olive oil story. Lol! I feel better knowing I'm not the only one. :)