December 6th - The Damage

So, the full extent of the excrement in which we are wading has been officially unveiled. Merry Christmas y'all! Despite being Dickensed to the max, I'm eschewing the expected bah-humbug Michael Noonin witch hunt in favour of some positive vibes starting with my wallet. Sweet buttering baby Jesus - the state of it! According to the over-touted Laws of Attraction, I should be acting as the person I wish to be in order to cleave its requisite luck. The subtext implied in this manky Cath Kidson anti-theft device doesn't augur well. Exhibit A: Hole in the left-hand corner. This would appear to be where all my money is going. Exhibit B: Naff retro floral motif. Indicates a recidivist propensity; prone to nostalgia and owner of a `70s-inspired bank balance. Exhibit C: (and possibly the most damaging evidence) Couponing! Granted this €20 off when you spend over €100 at Superquinn was to offset Bacardi money for my annual vat of Egg Nog but still, a woman of independent means would have her own rum cellar surely? Right, I'm off to town to purchase a suitable wallet for my would-be life as a modern day Katharine Hepburn. If Spencer Tracy pops by, tell him to pour himself a drink; the rum is in the cellar.